1% Club Glossary
Your Resource to 1% Club Terminology!
Time Travel [tahym trav-uhl]
-noun
• to go from one place to another while being unaware of how you arrived at the new place. This is often accomplished through overuse of the 1% Club Time Machine.
Time Machine [tahym mah-'sheen]
-noun
• the main container that holds 1% Club Time Gas. Usually takes the form of a yellow diesel can.
• a second, smaller container that holds the 1% Club Time Gas for personal consumption. Usually takes the form of a red plastic cup.
Time Gas [tahym gahs]
-noun
• the liquid held within the Time Machine. Liquid contents are mostly a mystery and may vary from one batch to another. One consistant with Time Gas is that repeated drinks of it will cause a person to Time Travel.
The Crawford Grind [the kraw-furd grynd]
-noun
• The act of getting ridiculously drunk and rubbing your crotch against any unwilling bar patron within 20 feet of you.
Tom [tahm]
-noun
• The creator of Myspace.com. He was recently transformed into a life-sized dummy by a voodoo priestess after her account was canceled because she did not forward a bulletin to at least 20 of her friends.
Luckily, the 1% Club was able to rescue Tom before he became a German Sheppard's chew toy. He now hangs out at the 1% Club tailgate, drinking his sorrows away and yelling obscenities at underage college girls.